Ben likes my blog, and I like Ben. So, I’ve decided to blog about his favorite thing in the whole wide world: the hockey. And in case you’re wondering about my use of “the,” before “hockey,” that’s another fun fact to know about Ben: he enjoys using unnecessary articles. It’s a habit that is quite catchy if you start doing it. You have been warned; exercise with caution.
But enough about the Ben and his grammar habits. This post is about hockey. Here is everything that you need to know about hockey: Hockey was invented on October 3, 2009. For those of you who were thinking that hockey might have been around before that, it’s a good thing that my blog and I are here to set you straight. The first hockey game took place between the Boston University and St. Francis Xavier University at the former’s home arena. It resulted in a 2-2 tie because it was the first game in the history of the sport and they had not yet realized that sporting events are supposed to result in winners and losers.
You might be confused as to why you do not remember that a major sport was invented within the last five years, but no worries; I have the answer. You don’t remember the invention of hockey because your memories of October 3, 2009 are clouded with thoughts of the other, more important thing that happened on this date: my twentieth birthday.
If you have been taking every word of this post thus far as gospel, I have some unsettling news for you: hockey wasn’t actually invented on that date. According to Wikipedia, it was invented in the modern form we know it as today sometime in the nineteenth century. Yes that’s right, they’ve been playing this sport for over a century, and they still have not realized that sporting evens are supposed to result in winners and losers.
While hockey may not have been invented on October 3, 2009, that date was my twentieth birthday. It was also the first time that I was ever really forced to think about hockey, which was frustrating because it was my birthday and I wanted the world to focus on me. Instead, I had to focus on the hockey schedule, which demanded that all of my friends be at the arena as soon as the doors opened so that they could get good seats for an exhibition game. I have since learned that hockey was kind of popular at BU (We were reigning national champions) so it was somewhat necessary for them to arrive so unceremoniously early. At the time, however, this made no sense to me at all.
Despite what you may be thinking about my former narcissistic, birthday-loving ways, this story is not the reason why I never became hockey’s biggest fan. There are, in fact, several reasons why hockey and I just do not mix.
First, there’s the temperature aspect. Hockey takes place on ice, and ice is cold. Therefore, as a general rule, hockey rinks tend to be cold. I get cold very easily, and I hate it, thus, it can be very unpleasant to be at hockey games. Then, there’s the violence aspect of the sport. Hockey players have this need to run into both the rink’s boards and each other at full speed, actions that sometimes result in bloodshed. Gross. And every time that puck comes flying at the glass surrounding the rink, I see my life flash before my eyes and pretty much always scream. Terrifying. And embarrassing. There’s also the clapping thing. I hate clapping. This is certainly a problem at other times in my life—while attending concerts, presentations, circuses, etc.—but it is also definitely a problem at hockey.
(Ben, are you still reading? Do you hate me? Please don’t hate me. I promise it’s about to get better.)
But even with all of these faults, I don’t actually hate hockey. In fact, since I am no longer in college and the NHL has decided not to happen, I’ve pretty much gone back to never thinking about it. But when I do think about hockey, I don’t hate it, and that is because of Ben.
Hockey makes Ben very, very happy. Except when his team loses. Then, hockey makes him sad. But it only makes him sad because he loves it so. I think we should all aspire to love something as much as Ben loves hockey. All of us deserve to have something that makes us that happy. And for this reason, I am thankful for hockey for Ben.